newattitude

It’s 9:30 AM and I am drinking my Smooth Move tea.  This time I’m drinking it hot and it’s really not bad.  Yesterday, the tea did its job, so I’m hoping for the same today.  :)  Yesterday I was only able to drink two glasses of the Master Cleanse lemonade.  I just don’t like the flavor of the maple.  So I had water instead.  I cheated a bit when I sampled some of the enchiladas I made for dinner and later that night I had a couple of pickle slices.  Other than that, I didn’t eat anything.  Yes, I know many will say this is crazy and I will gain it back.  That may be, but after researching the Master Cleanse, I learned that the detoxifying effects of the cleanse is ok for you–maybe even healthy.  I must say that I feel a little lighter around the mid-section this morning.  This, alone, has given me the motivation to move on to day 2 of the cleanse.  I will try to drink more of the MC lemonade. A friend of mine told me that I should make the lemonade as I drink it rather than making a full day’s supply.  I’ll try that.  I will weigh myself after the third day since I’ve heard you don’t really see results until then.  We will see….

I’m back.  I’ve been here before.  I have had some successes, but more failures.  I’m sick of it.  The last time I was here, I thought I had finally conquered this weight loss monster.  It’s not about dieting.  It’s about making healthier choices and getting active….Blah…Blah…Blah….Easier said than done.  So, I’m trying something new.  The Master Cleanse. Not as a diet plan, but a way to feel better and get started on losing this weight…If I am successful with this Master Cleanse, there is no doubt that I will lose weight….Some of it will be gained back once I incorporate solid foods back into my diet.  I know this going in, but I hope to be in a better state of mind after the cleanse and more prepared for a healthier lifestyle….We will see…So here’s my blog….

Today is day one for me. Its about 9:30 AM. I just had a cup of Smooth Move tea. Just the thought of the salt water flush makes me gag, so I’m contemplating whether or not I will try that component. I may just try the tea morning and night. I haven’t made my lemondae drink yet for today, but I guess I need to get going on that as I am already feeling hungry. (Not a good sign!) I weighed myself and I weigh a ridiculous 258.4. Last night, I “stored” up in preparation for the cleanse by gorging. I know that was not the right thing to do, but it’s how I mentally psyched myself up to get going. I’ve been a little anxious about this whole thing. I love food. I look forward to eating. And not healthy foods….So this will be a real challenge for me. Like I said, I am not going to use the cleanse as a diet plan. I just need a jump start. I think that once I experience some weight loss, I will be motivated to press on. I have read many testimonials of people who say that they, after cleansing, have the desire to eat healthier afterwards. I’ll keep my fingers crossed about that one. This may not be the best time to begin the cleanse as July 4 is approaching….Barbeque, potato salad, desserts….Sigh….But I’m going to try. I am going on vacation on July 17 and I want to lose some weight before that….Why? Because I anticipate there will be lots of pictures taken and I don’t want to look “swollen” in the pictures. LOL….That’s my truth. As crazy as it sounds…Ok…I’ll try to post daily as a means of sorting out my feelings and as a means of soliciting support from other people going on this journey. Happy Cleansing!

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I feel like giving up.  I hate this roller coaster ride.  I know that there will be ups and downs, but really???? Yes, I splurged A LITTLE this weekend, but 3 pounds worth? No, I guess I need to drink more water. Move more.  Whatever. I just feel defeated. I’m working on being more positive, but maybe I’ll feel up to that later. Not now though. 

I’m trying to muster up some excitement about my loss this week.  I wanted to lose 5 lbs including the water weight, but I guess I’m okay with this. I guess the splurges this past weekend accounted for that other two pounds I WOULD have lost.  My plan for this week is to continue to eat 1200-1500 calories a day and drink more water.  It really helps that I’ve cut the soda and sugary drinks.  I now drink V8 Splash Diet Tropical Blend.  It’s really good and only has 10 calories. I also drink Minute Maid Light Lemonade with only 15 calories.  In calculating my calories before quitting the sodas and juices I found that about 600-700 calories a day were from drinks (non alcoholic, of course) alone! So I really haven’t had to make much of an adjustment on my food since I was drinking a large part of my calories.  Here’s to week two!  Have a good one Buddyslimmers!

Today was day 2.  I am so proud of myself.  I started out the day by riding my stationary bike for 1 mile.  My original goal was to do the Atkins diet, but after more research I think the South Beach diet is the healthier approach.  I ate three meals today.  I monitored my portions.  No, or very few, carbs today.  So far, so good. We will see…

This post was in my drafts…Probably wrote it some time last year.  I’m sure when I wrote this that I thought I was well on my way to a healthier me.  Well, it’s so ironic that again I am on “Day 2.”  This time, though, my approach is much different.  I am not dieting. Not really anyway.  I am monitoring my calorie intake (no more than 1500) and I am eating healthier foods, but I am not restricting myself from any particular food.  Today I ate tuna,  salad,  and boiled eggs.  For snacks, I ate pickles (love ‘em!) and popcorn (light butter).  I steered clear of sugary juices and had Minute Maid Light lemonade, water and V8 splash instead.  I logged my food on the dailyplate.com and found that I only ate about 13oo calories today.  I’m happy with that.  Tomorrow, my goal is to drink more water and incorporate exercise into my day—possibly the treadmill or I might even see what the 30 day Shred is all about.  My mom bought me a copy months ago and neither of us has even opened the packaging.  Ridiculous!  Anyway, until day 3, here’s to new beginnings and a healthier lifestyle.  God Bless!

And the rest of my life to go….

I have come to terms with why I am fat.  I know there’s the obvious reasons….I eat too much and exercise too little.  But I’ve evaluated why and when I eat.  I eat heaping amounts of food when I am sad or down.   Lately, I’ve been in the dumps quite often, so I find myself feasting on any and everything.  I am not happy at this point in my life, but I have to learn to fill my voids with something other than food.

I also eat compulsively when I’m bored.  I look forward to eating as if it’s the highlight of my day.  I love food.  There are some “healthy” things that I love to eat, but most often, I like to eat cheeseburgers and enchiladas and pasta….stuff that’s not so good for me.  I know that I need to make better food choices, and I will work on that.   I won’t deprive myself of the foods I enjoy, but I have to learn to eat those things  in moderation.

I also realized that I don’t really know when I’m full.  I usually eat without taking the time to savor my food.  I think if I slow down and really give my brain a chance to process what I’ve eaten, I’ll find that I’m satiated well before I finish my plate and move on to a second helping.  I also realize that my portion sizes are ridiculous.  I will work on that. 

Finally, back to the emotional eating thing.  I have to take control of my own happiness.  I don’t like the way I look.  I can work on that.  I will tackle those things that are within my control and not focus on the things I can’t change.  For those things (and people) I can’t change… I will have to relinquish control and let go and LET GOD….

Until tomorrow….One day at a time…. 

I’m back and at a low point.  I’m afraid to weigh myself.  I know I’ve gained.  I’ve been here before, but I gotta pull myself out of this rut and cycle of self-misery before I’m too far gone.  Today is day one…again.  Let’s hope I can stay on track this time around. 

Hello, Buddyslimmers.  It’s been a while since I’ve posted a blog.  In the time I’ve been away I’ve gained back about 12 of the pounds I’ve lost.  The good news is that still leaves me with a net loss of 25 pounds.  I just wonder where I’d be now if I hadn’t fallen off the wagon.  But, no use crying over spilled milk.  I just have to get going again and re-gain control of my body.  I realize that I have a problem with food.  I use it as a vice.  When I am down, I eat.  When I want to celebrate, I eat.  When I’m bored, I eat.  That wouldn’t be such a huge problem, except for the fact that I like to eat cheeseburgers and hoagies and pizza…ALL the wrong foods.  I’d made a committment to eat healthier for a total lifestyle change, but some where along the way I took a detour and 12 pounds later, here I am….Again.  I’m glad I’ve decided to make changes now, before I gain back ALL the weight I’ve lost.  I can’t allow circumstances to dictate where I am with my health.  My marriage may be struggling.  My kids may be challenging me.  My job may not be fulfilling, but I can STILL take care of me.  I can’t be bogged down by everything and everyone who surrounds me.  I have to maintain positivity.  If I can’t control my eating and my health, how can I handle my failing marriage, or being a good mother to my children, or being productive at work?  I AM IN CONTROL.  This is my own self-help.  I have to do this for my self.  In church this past Sunday, the sermon was titled, “Move Forward.”  I can’t go back in time and rewrite my story.  I can’t go back and erase the 12 pounds I gained.  I can’t go back in time and fix the mistakes made in my marriage, but I can write a better ending to my story.  I can take charge of my life.  I can be an even better mother than I am already.  I can eat healthier.  I can exercise.  I can be joyful.  I may not always be happy due to “happenings” in my life, but I won’t allow anything or anyone to compromise my JOY.  Fat or thin, I have to have unrelenting joy that comes from knowing I am working towards being the best me I can be.  Joy that comes from knowing that my Savior has my back if no one else does.  Joy that comes from knowing that the two most important people in my life..my children… love me and look to me for love, understanding, and security. 

Okay, didn’t mean to write a book, but I feel renewed and refreshed.  I’m ready to fight this battle I’ve put myself in the midst of.  I’m ready to MOVE FORWARD!

A loss!  I thought I was forever stuck at 235, but this morning, the scale read 232!  YEA!  That’s 35 pounds gone!  That’s the good news.  The bad news is that I always sabotage myself by ‘celebrating’ a loss with an edible ‘reward’.  This morning it was a glazed donut from Shipley.  My co-worker bought some for our team and I felt ‘obligated’ to eat it.  That wasn’t really all that bad because I do allow myself some pleasures.  I don’t completely deprive myself.  But then this evening, I ate TWO hot dogs, one with chili and cheese.  I did use a whole wheat bun and turkey franks, but still I felt guilty afterwards.  Had I stopped there, I would have been okay, but noooooo.  I ate the last of the potatoes I made on Labor Day.  Creamy, cheesy potatoes loaded with calories!  But, I won’t have a pity party.  Tomorrow, I’ll just have to get back to the business of getting healthier!  I will start the day with my daily treadmill workout and go from there.  I will be out of the 230s in no time! 

Why am I so nervous about weighing in tomorrow?  This is insane.  I have done a good job with my eating and I have exercised everyday, so I am expecting a loss.  I will be happy with just one pound…But, if for some reason I gained, I will be CRUSHED!  Fridays are “eat-out” days at work.  I plan to continue to be good by ordering a salad or a low cal/fat meal.  A loss on the scale would give me the boost and motivation I need to stay with my lifestyle change….But, if I have a gain or no loss….Well, let’s just see what the scale says in the morning.